pixeltree Now • 100%
What if a copy of you woke up in the morning? So you could see your dead body from yesterday, but consciousness would seem as continuous to you as normal--you went to sleep yesterday and effectively woke up today, just in a different body? Would it bother you knowing you weren't technically the same you as yesterday, even if it seemed like it to you?
pixeltree Now • 100%
Sorry, should have been more specific. If you died in your sleep every night and came back to life in the morning, and you couldn't tell it was happening, would it matter?
It's not a question with a right answer, I just want to hear your thoughts about it
pixeltree Now • 100%
Obviously not, but what is the functional difference? If you can't tell it's happening, does it actually matter?
pixeltree Now • 100%
No, I really don't need another bunch of money spent for a half finished project that I'm never going to finish or hobby that I'll never return to. It sounds bad but it truly is better for me to give up and not try, at least it doesn't continue piling failures on top of me.
pixeltree Now • 100%
Mooooood. One of the few hook ups I've had, afterwards, he held me close, little spoon, and ran his finger delicately around my side and abs and told me that was the sexiest part of me and told me I was amazing and it was hard to not burst into tears. I'd never felt attractive before. I'd never felt truly wanted like that before. I don't think I will again. It's harder now, when you've been starved for affection and touch for so long having a brief glimpse of it is almost worse than never having had it at all. It'll take a long time to numb back down I think.
pixeltree Now • 100%
Do you live with yourself?
Very unfortunately I do. Wouldn't if people didn't insist I stay
pixeltree Now • 100%
The top commenter is correct. It's why when you glance at a clock with a second hand, it can seem like it takes too long for it to move for the next second. It moved as you moved your eyes, and your brain didn't make up the movement.
pixeltree Now • 100%
I'd like to be perceived as a corpse
pixeltree Now • 100%
Can I just kill myself first instead
pixeltree Now • 90%
How long would suffocation in there take? Might not be too bad tbh
pixeltree Now • 100%
Estrogen, my yin
pixeltree Now • 88%
While water in pipes is often a metaphor for electricity, it's not particularly useful here. You can't ground out part of a charge. Energy storage is the solution though. Batteries are good, pumping water up back up into dams to be regained from a hydro plant when needed is ideal, as I understand it.
pixeltree Now • 83%
Tell that to Assange, Snowden, and pals
Sharing classified material != Criticism of the government
pixeltree Now • 100%
That's honestly the vibe I got--its just dumping your responsibilities to yourself onto another person. I'd hate to do that to someone.
pixeltree Now • 83%
Only men are stretchy enough to fit melons up their ass, and women have to stick with more mundane phallic vegetables?
pixeltree Now • 93%
The U.S. has a lot of fuckin things wrong with it but goddamn it's nice you can't be jailed for talking about how terrible it is
pixeltree Now • 100%
Which is kind of funny because that corresponds inversely with the quality of the game lol. The game director changed and they have been killing it every since
pixeltree Now • 100%
Been there, though I just took a couple hours in the shower with the enema wand set to "pressure wash"
Shame I can't get hit by an actual bus
I'm so tired. Why bother struggling to find insurance that lets me continue with my therapist. Why bother finding insurance at all. Why bother look for a job. Why put so much effort into a life I'm so tired of living? I know things won't improve. That they can't improve, really. Sometimes it might feel like things are better, but circumstances haven't changed, it's just the drugs making it not feel like it matters. I've given up on all these things that other people take for granted, and yet it still hurts to think about how I'll never get there. I'm so tired of it, and I don't see any way it ever changes. I just don't want to continue on. Why do people have to care about me? If they didn't, then I could just leave and not hurt them. Why isn't acceptable for me to just say "actually, nah, life isn't for me, see you never" and fucking die? I'm pretty sure suicide's inevitable. At some point, I'm just not going to care enough about the guilt and go through with it, it's more just a matter of when that'll be. Makes me sad my online friends won't know for sure, but they'll probably guess after a few weeks of being offline. At least I don't have to worry about leaving work on short notice.
Hey all, as I've been thinking about who I want to be and how I want to transition, I've gotten to wondering about people's transition timelines in general. If it's something you're comfortable talking about, how long did it take you from realizing your trans to taking steps to transition? When did you start using different pronouns, when did you come out to people, how long did it take you to know you wanted HRT and then to start it? I realized I wasn't cis a few months ago, and have been growing my hair out and experimenting with clothing. I know I want to get permanent facial hair removal, and am interested in HRT but have reservations, and would value hearing others experiences about how long it took them to know what they wanted. I'm a very hesitant and self-doubtful person in general, and I guess just feel a bit lost in how to go about self discovery here. Editing to say thank you very much all for sharing, seeing how different everyone's experiences can be is honestly really comforting.
When I can't find another and run out of savings in a few months, *that's* when Ill kill myself. Honestly did a bit of a trial run last night, fastened a bag over my head and snuggled my stuffed animals on the couch to see what it would be like. It's definitely something I can go through with if/when it comes to it. Taking other steps to make life less unbearable first, hence the title. I don't really see my life ending any other way though tbh, just more of a question of when. If I'm lucky, it'll be when the climate change induced famine prices me out of being able to eat and I chose not to starve. Anyways, sorry for making you read this. Fuck.
It's the major thing holding me back from buying ad free. Trying to view dms instantly crashes the app and it's very frustrating.
and this popped into my head. As a friend said, it's confusing and scary but ignoring just makes you feel more confused and scared, and that's so accurate.