Thank you for clarifying that the gif is unrelated because typically if your landlord wants to give you unlimited head they can offer that but they can't force you to take it.

I have a friend on the spectrum and he knows almost every single '80s B and C grade horror flick ever released on VHS by heart.

He has turned me on to some really interesting and freaky movies.

Anything is level if your level is small enough

On my 18th birthday I was homeless and living in a truck.

But it was okay cuz I was out of a terribly abusive situation and my mental health was improving.

And I went to my friend's house only to find out that they had all been arrested for robbing a McDonald's.

Truth is, I had known about the robbery after the fact, they had told me about it two days before my birthday.

I had cautioned my friends that they should not go out and spend the money they had stolen right away, if their activities change and it made them look suspicious, it increased their chances of getting caught.

This was a small time deal, they each got like $600.

They went out the very next day and blew it all.

They were arrested that night after the detective that McDonald's had hired to follow them kept track of all of their purchases and showed up at their door with the police in tow.

It's so pathetic it still makes me cringe.

So anyway I spent my birthday alone in my truck. It made me sad because you know that was the day I officially became an adult and all these years later I'm kind of still alone so I guess maybe it set a bad precedent that I could not overcome.

I bought a massively oversized NASA t-shirt the last time I had to go to JCPenney's and it's so fucking comfortable that I've literally worn holes into it.

My ex-girlfriend complained that so many of the pictures that we had taken together had me in this shirt. It was just a comfy shirt and I still have it but it's probably time for me to find a new one.

My mom has this belief that there is a high comedy in taking two unrelated things and putting them into the same sentence.

Shitty example: "She Ichabod my Crane until I jack-o'-lantern"

The humor of the sentence comes from the person who is listening to you attempting to connect the two parts, and you getting to watch them draw the line.

This happens because people notice patterns and in a conversation it is the listener's job to understand what the speaker is saying.

And this is well and good for the most part but because we have that tendency it's easy to make horrible mistakes that we have a very difficult time disbelieving because we came to the conclusions ourselves.

Best case you end up like the no soap radio joke. Worst case, you end up in some sort of like weird Armageddon apocalypse right-wing conspiracy nut group talking about your weird imaginations with other people who also do not have a reality filter on their own imaginations.

I'm willing to bet you're still ending up in their database. Unless you are using some sort of VPN to first obfuscate your location and then a brand new account that has not been used before, then there's going to be some record of similarity.

When I'm installing Windows 10 or 11, I use the Rufus installer to create a pre-built admin account that I can sign in with.

Oh yeah?

Open edge and search for something. Check in the top right corner and tell me you're not signed into some sort of pseudo-created Microsoft account.

Actually, if those automatic sensors on doors and paper towel dispensers and sinks have anything to do with it, the darker your skin the more likely you are to be completely ignored by them.

I'm native American with tan skin and sometimes I'll stand in front of those fucking sinks waving my hands like a fucking idiot for three full seconds before I can get the water to turn on whereas my pasty ass coworker can walk in front of the God damn things and they just start spraying like 14 year olds at an R Kelly concert.

May Roko's Basilisk Spare Us All

Not to mention that Microsoft forces you to use a Microsoft account when you create your account on your home computer which is then automatically logged in to edge and *bing so that they can track and quantize more of every single thing you do on the internet to monetize you

Simple math.

8 billion divided by 12 million.

A billion is a thousand millions, so let's reduce this to 8 thousand divided by 12, which is 666.667.

Rounded up to 667.

That's 1 in 667 roughly. Slightly better odds than winning over $100 in the lottery.

If it's one in a million doesn't that mean that it's happening like four times a year?

Maybe they were and that's why you don't see too many witches these days

Just don't make the mistake that I did and copper plate your balls. The packaging is remarkably similar.

Groovy

Chelectric

Okay, I'm going to need you to take your phone and put it inside of this Ziploc bag and then place it inside of this jar full of thermite.

It's the only way to be sure

I think it's the second one, because every time I've heard the objection about the Sun not working at night it has always been in the form of a gotcha and not in the form of a question like, how do we deal with this issue?