someone at the bar told me they think the Obamas have separated but are keeping it under wraps until after the election

Their theory is that (and I am assuming this is all celebrity gossip level stuff lol) Barack is dating Jennifer Aniston and has been separated from Michelle for some time (that's why he's in hawaii constantly?? not because of his other billionaire friends who also live there, but to hang out with Jennifer Aniston??); anyways their proof was showing me some article where Aniston's rep denied any affair so...

I keep imagining Barack saying something like "Michelle, I uh, invited Jennifer Aniston over for dinner. Perhaps later in the evening we could, uh, experim-...no? Very well..."

"Jennifer, uh, I am delighted you came. Unfortunately Michelle is not feeling well. Let me get your coat; have you, uh, seen this year's playlist? I believe this is Chihiro."

"Jennifer, let me be clear. Michelle would not let me sit in the Cuck Chair and it has caused a rift in our relationship."

please help me