killer_penguin

Shitty Life Pro Tip killer_penguin • Now • 86%

SLPT putting a student driver sticker on your car will get you out of all tickets. The police will be more understanding a let you off with a warning every time.

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Shitty Life Pro Tip killer_penguin • Now • 94%

SLPT: When grocery shopping, if you see something you were going to buy in a person's cart, feel free to take it. It’s not stealing because the other person doesn’t own it until they pay for the item.

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Shitty Life Pro Tip killer_penguin • Now • 98%

SLPT Gym not letting you cancel your membership or making it difficult? Start working out completely naked and making very weird noises drawing attention to yourself.

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Shitty Life Pro Tip killer_penguin • Now • 90%

SLPT Cops work all day in the public this can be tiring and their time is valuable. Be considerate when you get pulled over and run towards their car with your information.

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Shitty Life Pro Tip killer_penguin • Now • 100%

SLPT put your contacts in lotion, so they won't dry your eyes out.

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SLPT If you get mugged give them as much money as possible. You can say it was a charitable donation and write it off on your taxes.

killer_penguin Now • 100%

Make sure to ask for one

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SLPT: Win your next boxing match by slathering your gloves in raw eggs and chicken so your opponent will get salmonella and have to surrender the fight.

killer_penguin Now • 100%

Got poison effect on those gloves

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Shitty Life Pro Tip killer_penguin • Now • 88%

SLPT If you get mugged give them as much money as possible. You can say it was a charitable donation and write it off on your taxes.

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Shitty Life Pro Tip killer_penguin • Now • 98%

SLPT Make sure to keep a ruler under your pillow so you know how long you slept.

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Shitty Life Pro Tip killer_penguin • Now • 90%

SLPT attack someone wjth a bodyguard to ensure they get their moneys worth.

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Shitty Life Pro Tip killer_penguin • Now • 98%

SLPT adding two mini fridges together makes one regular fridge. And cheaper!

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Shitty Life Pro Tip killer_penguin • Now • 95%

SLPT car bouncing/shaking a lot? Wear or sand your tire tread off to make the ride smoother.

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Shitty Life Pro Tip killer_penguin • Now • 45%

SLPT bean.

Big bean

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Shitty Life Pro Tip killer_penguin • Now • 94%

SLPT eat the paper in the fortune cookie so it becomes shit, just like all your other hopes and dreams

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Shitty Life Pro Tip killer_penguin • Now • 97%

SLPT Your job have a drug test day? Make sure to bring enough for everyone to try some.

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Shitty Life Pro Tip killer_penguin • Now • 95%

SLPT The good die young. Be an A-hole your entire life to live longer.

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SLPT Unable to buy the fun fireworks in your state? Make your own by attaching a cardboard tube full of glitter, minerals, and gunpowder to a model rocket.

killer_penguin Now • 100%

Making the fireworks like it’s Minecraft over here!

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Shitty Life Pro Tip killer_penguin • Now • 100%

SLPT Have a work email? Report every email you get as spam you can never be too careful. The IT department will love you because you're thinking of security.

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Shitty Life Pro Tip killer_penguin • Now • 100%

SLPT If you like the hair you have now, shave it all off and make a wig out of it. You can have that hairstyle forever

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SLPT: Taxi driver too slow? Simply throw them out of the car and drive yourself instead.

killer_penguin Now • 100%

I saw that documentary too! This also works with anyone's car including police.

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SLPT Do your misplace your kids often? Have them swallow an air tag. Cover it in yogurt to help get it down.

killer_penguin Now • 100%

Who said anything about rinse... just repeat

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SLPT Do your misplace your kids often? Have them swallow an air tag. Cover it in yogurt to help get it down.

killer_penguin Now • 100%

Round 2!

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Shitty Life Pro Tip killer_penguin • Now • 100%

SLPT Do your misplace your kids often? Have them swallow an air tag. Cover it in yogurt to help get it down.

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Shitty Life Pro Tip killer_penguin • Now • 100%

SLPT Trying to lose weight? Always scoop your ice cream when it's frozen rock hard. You will burn a few extra calories.

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Shitty Life Pro Tip killer_penguin • Now • 100%

SLPT instead of buying a bigger TV, just sit closer ya dingus

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SLPT pulling over for police is optional. They can't give you a ticket if you don't pull over.

killer_penguin Now • 100%

That's also optional

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Shitty Life Pro Tip killer_penguin • Now • 91%

SLPT pulling over for police is optional. They can't give you a ticket if you don't pull over.

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SLPT Have a short layover when flying and you might not make the next plane? Save some time by yelling bomb! To get off the plain quicker

killer_penguin Now • 100%

Very true a life saver

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SLPT Have a short layover when flying and you might not make the next plane? Save some time by yelling bomb! To get off the plain quicker

killer_penguin Now • 0%

Shit I can't spell!

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SLPT Need radiation, but live in the US and can't afford it? Travel to Chernobyl where you can get all the radiation for free!

killer_penguin Now • 100%

That is too funny lol

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SLPT Self hosting stuff on your home network? having trouble reaching it from outside your network? Turn all security off including your firewall to gain access.

killer_penguin Now • 100%

Would not recommend posting something like that in c/selhosted

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SLPT silica gel is another way of saying salt, save it when you get one and use it on your food! You'll never have to buy salt again

killer_penguin Now • 100%

This is a shitty life pro tip

Leaving this up as it is not more dangerous than any other post on this community

From cutenottragic https://azpoison.com/sites/default/files/poisonology_what_happens_if_i_eat_silica_gel.pdf

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SLPT have bad breath? Spray lysol in your mouth it kills 99.9% of bacteria!

killer_penguin Now • 100%

Definitely not an ad, but right as I posted it I was like hmm that kinda looks like one 😂

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SLPT Big Airports don't want you to know that you can walk to the place you want to go. Rather than paying outrageous ticket costs.

killer_penguin Now • 100%

Maybe a short swim too!

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SLPT If you slip the zookeeper some money you can do anything you want in the zoo. Like jumping into the gorilla enclosure.

killer_penguin Now • 100%

For that stunt? At least $100

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SLPT If you slip the zookeeper some money you can do anything you want in the zoo. Like jumping into the gorilla enclosure.

killer_penguin Now • 100%

Well the mistake was the kid didn't give the zookeeper any money!

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SLPT If your computer is dirty and blowing air on the parts isn't completely cleaning them, just hose it down out back! Make sure to plug it into power during this!

killer_penguin Now • 100%

Then use the leaf blower to dry it off!

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SLPT: Use an old lightbulb as a thrifty option to fill the void left by broken drinkware.

killer_penguin Now • 100%

Reduce reuse recycle!

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SLPT If you have really bad tooth pain, have a friend take a bat to your leg distracting your mind from the tooth!

killer_penguin Now • 100%

Unfortunately... ;)

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SLPT Got Arthritis? Go down to the local hardware store and pick up some WD-40 for those joints

killer_penguin Now • 100%

What can't WD-40 do!

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