What's the difference between self-love and selfishness to you?

Really wrestling with this question due to various personal things lately and just curious where yous draw the line on this?

I've done so many things in life that, at the time, I would've described as self-protective in a self-loving way, but where I really was just being a selfish ass. Not out of malice, but out of a lack of self-love or -esteem and total ignorance of it. I've seen so many people do the same thing. And I've tolerated so much shit over the years I thought was self-loving self-protection which was really just people being selfish asses. I've probably also labelled quite a few people selfish which were just caring for themselves in earnest.

People are complicated and it's honestly hard as fuck to make this distinction sometimes imo.